#7 Go to a Concert

Concerts are a great place to enjoy a high quality of music in a non-social environment. “Nonsocial?” you say, “you’re surrounded by people, how could it be nonsocial?” Because everyone is so consumed by the music being made and their own reaction to it that they don’t have time to worry about you. AND it’s almost impossible to hold a conversation unless you know ASL, so it’s like blasting the music on your headphones except you have a reason to get dressed up, do your makeup, buy a ticket, and feel fancy. Granted I don’t get up and dance to the music or scream and yell with everyone else, but it’s nice to sit there and watch both the performers and listeners having the time of their life.

I guess it comes down to people watching. I think that if you observe someone displaying a strong enough emotion, it starts to rub off – like when you watch videos of soldiers coming home and hugging their family, you have to cry, it’s a rule! And likewise, when you watch so many people display such euphoria, you can’t help but feel a bit of it too. Even if it is only temporary.

Temporary is better than nothing.

So whether it’s an a Capella concert, rock, ballet, or the opera, buy a ticket, get all fancy, and go. Get out of the house and let the music—and the people around you—relieve the dark omnipresent pressure that surrounds you most other times.

# 6 Discover a new show

I had dinner with my best friend the other day and she could not stop talking about the new show that she found: Last Man Standing. We watched a couple episodes and lo and behold it was phenomenal! It's with Tim Allen and is seriously exactly like Home Improvement, but he has three daughters instead of three sons -- it's literally a brilliant concept and is just as hilarious as the original. 

I know it sounds lazy and unproductive, usually when we sit around and watch TV we think, "Well I guess that was a lazy day." And we beat ourselves up about it. We make ourselves feel awful for taking some time off and then sink ourselves deeper into our own little self-designed pit of misery.

Why is this an awful thing?

Sure if we sat in front of the TV all day, every day (like we do for a solid week during the summer) then it would be awful and some self-degradation might be called for. But we don't. Just like it would be terrible to eat nothing but ice cream or drink nothing but soda, it would be terrible to do nothing all day but watch TV. My point is: everything in moderation. 

Set some time for yourself to do something for yourself. Something that can help you unwind and relax after a day filled with the world's crap. TV is a harmless way to do that. One episode a night before bed is not going to kill you. Neither is turning it on during the weekend when you're cleaning you house. I promise you won't die as long as it isn't the only thing you do.

Stop putting yourself down for doing something for yourself.

Now find a TV show (I highly recommend Last Man Standing) and sit yourself down with a home cooked meal. Relax. Chill. Let yourself be lazy for 40 minutes.

It's okay.

#5 Find one thing that works

I know that it is a really, REALLY long arduous process, but we really have to find on thing that works. One thing that makes us just a little bit better for just a little while. 

Now let me make it clear that I'm talking about constructive things like reading, cooking, hiking -- Please do not take this as an excuse to go spend hundreds of dollars because it makes you feel better, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about things that improve your inner self. Set a budget for it (mine is $20) and do it once a month. 

For me it was difficult, I tried reading because I love reading and it was a great place to start. But all it did was transport me into another world where my problems and my life were forgotten and that isn't helpful. I needed something that would help me cope with life, not forget it. 

So I tried writing. I'm awful, but the plots weren't too bad and the characters were great; it was pretty much a journal in fictional story form. But that also consumed my life with thinking about this fictional realities and escaping from my own.

The next attempt was cooking. I had always been fairly good, so it was time to break out the Pinterest account and try a few of the couple hundred recipes that I had pinned six years ago -- come on, we all know this to be every woman's reality. I would pick 2 recipes a month, make them double and then save the left overs, but after 3 months I got really tired of having left overs all the time but also really did not want to spend the energy of cooking something different all the time, plus that is way too much money. So fail. I went back to my one nice meal a month and everything else being freezer pizza, grilled cheese and soup, dehydrated hashbrowns and some eggs -- my simple go to's.

Finally, at the end of my string, I was giving up. I thought that I had tried everything and so apparently nothing would help. This was just a feeling that I was going to have to live with for the rest of my life with no relief. But I was wrong. 

By divine inspiration I realized that there was one friend that I hadn't seen since finals the previous semester who was going through some similar struggles although completely unique to her (as all trials are). I missed that class and the time that we had been able to spend together acing the class while also talking for a good portion of it. Why not give it a try?

So we went out for hot chocolate at a local coffee house (sorry, mormons here, no caffeine) =) and slowly but surely, conversation flowed and flowed and flowed, and it was great. It wasn't awkward because I knew that the other person had been where I was at some point and that I didn't have to hide. There was no need to pretend to be some one else, my stage self as I like to call it. With no pretenses it was easy to be truthful in everyway as we talked about everything from work to guys to trials to rent -- literally pretty much everything. 

And I felt a momentary relief. 

What I'm trying to say is that there is something out there, different for everyone, but there is something for you that can give you even a sliver of rest from the crap of life's burden. 

Find it. 

Try new things, experiment. 

Don't be upset if some of them fail because I promise that some of them will. 

Just find one thing that helps and then keep doing it. 

Don't stop.